Thank you’s are a strange thing.  They can be said with a range of emotions; heartfelt, bitter, quizzical and more.  Keeping track of the good ones is easy.  If both parties feel good, then you’re golden.  It’s the crappy thank you’s you have to be mindful of.  Don’t make the same mistakes that so many before you have.  Here are some thank you’s that you’ll want to stay away from because of their potentially awesome (I mean awesome in the horrible biblical event way, not the rad surfer way) consequences.

The Inappropriate Thanks:

This is done in a situation where no thanks is required, asked for or necessary by any means.

One day I was walking down the street with a friend.  A homeless man asked him if he had any change to spare to which my friend replied, “Nah, I’m good.   But thanks!” and kept on walking.  This would be the perfect example of when NOT to say thanks.

Potential consequence:

Homeless man exacts immediate revenge by pelting friend to death with rolls of pennies.

The Sarcastic Thanks

This is also known as the “f@ck you very much”.

“So, you just told the girl I went on one date with how I talk about her all the time?  Thanks…”

-or-

“You got me a subscription to Weight Watchers Weekly?  F@ck you.”

Potential consequence:

Girl gets weirded out and dumps talkative guy.

-or-

Fat fight ensues.

The Unbalanced Thanks:

This is a “thanks” that goes above and beyond the good deed that caused it in the first place.  This is like if someone bought you a cheeseburger and then to say thanks, you bought them a grill.  Don’t sell yourself short and don’t make the original good deedsman (or woman) feel like an ass for not doing more.

Potential consequence:

A never ending battle trying to one-up each other, or just a shame-ridden search for receipts.

Keep “thank you’s” appropriate, genuine and balanced and you’ll keep things straight.  Delve too far down the wrong paths though and you may just find your situation and attitude utterly thankless.