Year after year the bars and clubs end up stocked with a fresh batch of newly divorced singles. Most of these ladies are looking for a no strings rebound fling, while others are picking out their next husband. Before getting involved with either kind it is important to establish a few things.

1. Make sure she is really divorced: If it hasn’t been finalized, she’s still technically married and aside from the moral obligations, you could find yourself dragged into a shitstorm with her and her would-be ex.

2. She probably has kids: It’s good to find this out as soon as you decide to buy her a drink. Not a kid person? Then get out of there!

3. She might be a gold digger: While a newly divorced woman will be out showing off her best black dress, and all sorts of jewelry, pay close attention to how much of it she’s wearing, and try to pick up in conversation if she’s only interested in your wallet.

With those road blocks out of the way, you’re free to go about your business. The usual techniques for meeting someone apply. This presents a new challenge altogether and you’ll find yourself hitting on a couple types of divorcees.

The horny drunk: This one is a real mystery because when she’s drinking/operating on prescription meds, she can set the room on fire, be an amazing dancer and be a very relaxed person. She’ll take you back to her place or suggest getting a hotel. The sex will be great…then her buzz wears off. She turns into a trainwreck of runny mascara and tears. She’ll begin blaming herself for her failed marriage and saying over and over how what you just did/have been doing is a “mistake”

The scorned lover: This is your best bet to hope for, and you can pinpoint her by how much shit she talks on her ex. Get used to it, cause it doesn’t stop. These type are usually just seeking a revenge-fuck (or a few) and don’t really want to commit to anything else.

The responsible older parent just back in the game: This is the woman who can be identified as phrases such as “I really should get home to my kids” “I haven’t been on a date in years” “this is all so new to me” She got knocked up at the end of high school, and became a housewife for the next ten-fifteen years. Eventually her husband had enough of her, and left for his secretary. She has far too many morals and is looking for a younger male she can mother, and use to correct the mistakes of her past marriage. You probably won’t be getting laid by her until she’s already been laying out your clothes and telling you to clean your room for a week.

The feminist: While you shouldn’t be purposely hitting on you, she can show up more as a cock-block for when you’re hitting on her also newly divorced friend. She preaches about the evil of men and will point out how you are nothing but scum, running your chances with her hotter friend.

The young single mom: I’d watch out for this one. The older mom will treat you like her kid, this one wants you to care for hers. She’ll present herself as hopelessly and pathetically as possible using her tears and great smile to get you to take pity on her and take her kids out for ice cream. That’s where it starts. You’ll be so busy getting laid it’ll be too late before you realize you’re driving kids to school, having tea parties, and handing out weekly allowance.

The online approach:

As with most things, you can find these types of women without even leaving your home. You’re more likely to find them than you are a straight, normal, single your age. While a number of sites cater to them, the match/craigslist angle works here as well.

Online, these women have nothing to lose, and don’t even try to hide how pathetic they are. Their ads will bring a tear to your eye talking about how they don’t even feel it’s worth trying anymore and are willing to settle for “any warm body who wishes to spend the night.” Proceed with caution.

“Til Death do Us Part” doesn’t always hold up. More and more couples marry for the wrong reasons and then end up calling it quits.

How do you make a marriage work in the face of all this adversity? Well there’s no simple quick fix for it. A marriage, and more importantly, a relationship takes two people fighting, communicating, and above all else, working their hardest to keep things on an even keel.

What factors can lead to divorce, and how can we prevent them?

Again, you can’t catch every warning flag as soon as it appears, but the best thing you can do is take your time.

Marriage is (supposedly) a lifelong commitment. Take your time before you actually declare that commitment.

Many couples marry too young, and then split up within a few years. Sometimes it’s due to unwanted children, changing jobs/locations, or the feeling of missing out on something big.

Set ground rules, and ask questions.

Plan Ahead

If you or your significant other is in a field where a complete uprooting from NY to Alaska might be required of you down the line, discuss that.

Decide if both parties agree on children. Don’t rush into having them. Enjoy each other for a few years and put away money to prepare. Take whatever precautions necessary to do this. Rushing into having kids might mean one or the other has to take a second job, killing their free-time and making them resent the other, or the children.

Talk about the future. If you plan to retire at 50 and move to the country while your spouse wants to retire at 60 and stay in the city, this could cause problems even further down the line. Over the years, the animosity will just build to this point.

Don’t compromise yourself for the sake of the other person

Sure you need to reach agreements over things like “should we get a cat or a dog?” but if you are a proud meat eater, don’t become an overnight vegan because your girlfriend thinks you should give it a try. Stay true to your individuality.

Decide if you feel satisfied with your life. Maybe you wanted to take a year to go to Europe. Don’t get married, go to Europe. Or refine the trip for a shorter stay that includes the both of you. Don’t take a job just because you “should” give yourself the freedom to do something you really want. If you know this might leave you without much money for a while, discuss that fact and prepare for it. Live within your means.

Many married couples with a large age gap tend to split up. Decide if you really have enough in common with a person prior to settling down.

Run your marriage as an equal partnership

Most relationships have a clear-cut dominant party, but you can both make decisions regarding things like finances and planned activities. Share information regarding your credit score, and any debt you might be carrying. Keep detailed records of all tax returns, stock options, and other assets. Make sure the information is accessible to both of you.

Maintain a strong savings/checking account. Establish goals of assets or amts of money you’d like to have by a certain point. Work together towards these goals. Don’t shotgun a vacation every year. Plan out something you actually want to do that you’ll enjoy and don’t just “go away because you have too”

Pick your battles:

If you find yourself fighting all the time, it really wouldn’t be worth it to continue a relationship, and it certainly wouldn’t be a smart move to jump into a marriage. Sometimes it’s ok to just let things go and not harp on them. Share this information with your partner.

Plan time for yourselves as well as for each other:

Being a couple 24/7 can take its toll on a young married couple. Take a few days for her to see her friends and for you to hang around with the guys. Decide on one night a week (or every other week) in which the two of you go out for dinner.

Make your partner feel appreciated

Simple things like making dinner, or picking up a CD they expressed interest in reminds your partner that you are thinking of them, and dispels any doubts that they should feel unnoticed and unappreciated.

Maintain a healthy sex life

Sex is an important part of any relationship, and strains can be put on a sex life due to a number of things. A new kid, picking up more hours at a job, angoing spat, all these can cripple a sex life. Communicate what works for each party and try to keep a regular level of sexual activity. If you start to have doubts, or become interested in the idea of an affair, explain this to your partner. They won’t leave you for having “thoughts.” And you may be able to easily fix the problem by changing up the same old routine.

Be open to the idea of getting help

Not everyone can do it themselves. Short of marriage counselors, even just talking with friends might help you stay together. Share your feelings with your partner. See if they feel the situation is equally as bad as you think it is.

Marriage isn’t for everyone

You might not know this for sure before you get married, but if all is going well and you still aren’t happy, it might be best to split on amicable terms, rather than drag out a nasty divorce. If all else fails, this is always an option.