If you are one of those single college guys who has yet to achieve a one night stand, mark your calendar for this Thursday or Friday and get to it.

Step 1: Pick a venue. Be it a party, campus library, the all-girl dorm, facebook, or the anime club, it’s college, so it’s bound to be crawling with chicks.

Protip: You can always find horny half naked women in the laundry room, although in my case one gave me mono.

Step 2: Liquor. Liquor is the single greatest thing ever discovered, and it helps get anyone in the mood. If it’s a party or bar the liquor aspect will be taken care of for you. Had you met an artsy chick in the aforementioned campus library, go and pick up a cheap bottle of wine and drop her an invite to your dorm room.

Protip: keep a corkscrew/bottle opener handy.

Step 3: Be honest and direct. You want a one night stand right? Well then tell her. It’s college, women are horny, and if she’s going to sleep with you for a one night stand, she’s obviously looking for one too. You’ll have more luck getting one being honest, then if you subtlety drop hints and end up going home alone.

Protip: Don’t try this on your girlfriend prospect, your humanities professor, or the dean’s wife.

Step 4: Secure your room/a room. You don’t want to kill your chances by coming back to a roommate cramming for a Biology test. In my case I was always an asshole, and would just sexile people, or improvise by jumping into the nearest study lounge and locking the door. Make sure you’ll be alone, or it can ruin the whole thing.

Protip: If you go to HER place, you can always leave in the middle of the night, whereas at your place she might want to stay.

Step 5: Food. Either escape from her sleeping clutches and roundevous at the local diner, or if you are the sweet type take her to breakfast the next morning. You now have a one night stand under your belt and you can begin working on your next one. Remember to consult the school clinic if things are burning or itching after a week.

Protip: surprising her with breakfast in bed can erase those “what did I do?” feelings of guilt she might have, encouraging her to jump your bones again for an early morning romp.