Do you know the guy or girl at work that follows the boss around like a loyal pup, ready to pour a fresh mug of coffee, nod in agreement or laugh at any lame joke that threatens to burst from the big boss at any point? I think we all do. That brown-noser may have made his or her choice and decided to take on the burden for job security or the hope of a favoritism-fueled promotion. On the other hand, maybe they found themselves trapped in a situation where they were thrust into the spotlight and couldn’t find their way out.
The best way to stay out of the spotlight is to keep your head down. Is there a staff meeting? Avoid eye contact. What about a presentation, Powerpoint or otherwise? Sit near the back, behind the fat guy. One wrong move and you could inadvertently volunteer for something you didn’t mean to. Feign interest if need be, but stay in tune with everyone else’s body language. This way, if you become a soulless corporate zombie, at least you’ll be part of something that won’t grant you the crushing privilege of being your superior’s own personal lapdog.
Is there a bowling trip or company picnic? If you don’t have the necessary skills to make it through such a social occasion, you may find yourself in a one on one conversation with your boss talkin’ shop. This could put ideas in his or her head that involve you working harder without extra compensation. Be friendly with the boss and answer questions, but for the sake of Windows solitaire, YouTube and all other activities you enjoy while still on the clock, keep talking to a minimum. In fact, if you can stay away without making it obvious, whether that means keeping distance from your boss or out of the event altogether, please do so. And if you have multiple bosses, god- help – you.
Arm yourself with a general malaise. Don’t say anything too proactive or impressive. And unless there’s a clear opportunity for a raise or promotion, for the love of minesweeper, DON’T MAKE EYE CONTACT.
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