By John Michaels
Many people get very hung up on cheating, yet we all can be found guilty of it in some way shape or form. And while I wouldn’t personally carry on an extra marital affair, I’ve been a part of one…or two. In my freshman year of college, I was lucky enough to be in the hallway of my parent’s apartment building smoking a cigarette with my neighbor. Recently separated (but still married) she was drunk off her ass, and I figured “what the hell I’ll hit this cougar and ad her to the resume.” after an initial leap of faith, and some fooling around in the stairwell I found myself in an eight month on and off strictly booty-call affair. It was great while it lasted, and eventually I put an end to it. It isn’t always this easy though. So why do people cheat, and more importantly what are the signs?
People cheat for a number of a different reasons. Some do it for power, some do it for freedom. Others will try to fill a void that isn’t otherwise being filled in more ways than one. Having been through the fun personal experience of getting cheated on, I can walk you through the red-flags and warning signs that it might be coming up in your relationship. So be on the lookout for:
- A drastic change that you knew nothing about, and worse yet your input doesn’t matter. If your girl goes from black hair and constantly wearing a pony tail to blonde with a perm one day and doesn’t come home all excited about what you think of the procedure, you can bet she probably did it at someone else’s request.
-Since you’ve been married she’s always had grass on the field. If all of a sudden one day she’s sporting a smooth landing strip under her panties, you bet someone else is landing their 747 on that strip.
- A great relationship is built on trust. If you start to notice a fluctuation in yours get out. After two years of you and her occasionally doing your own thing alone or with friends, if he or she starts telling you where they are going and explaining you don’t need to worry, well you need to worry.
- When the phone starts ringing all hours of the night you might want to raise a question about who these calls are coming from/going to. If you also notice she’s locking her phone, don’t make an issue out of it, but keep a mental note. If it keeps happening, inquire again in about a week and check to see if you get a different answer.
- If for five years she’s been working 9-4 and all of a sudden she’s working late, when they never have is usually a sign not of cheating, but that something in the relationship just isn’t right.
- Be on the lookout for out of the blue gestures designed to do more than just surprise you with a profession of their love. Expensive things one right after the other (that aren’t usual in the relationship) might be a sign of someone trying to cover up guilt.
- Trust your instincts. If you think something is wrong, it’s worth it to talk about it right then and there in a normal calm manner. Don’t accuse, but mention a tenseness or a drift.
Like dents in a car, you can fix slight cracks in most relationships simply by banging them out.
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