A few months ago I took the plunge and deactivated my personal facebook. I have kept up with it, enough to carry on a face-book related conversation (although why one would have such a thing is pretty sad in and of itself.) Unfortunately, now when co-workers wish to send me attractive women pics, they’ll have to upload to photobucket or save to the desk top first. One of the benefits of facebook, apparently, is an invitation to all things social. I didn’t mind not getting the barrage of emails about photos I was “tagged in” nor did I miss out on who wrote what on some other chick’s wall. It’s all pointless drama, and details to me. What I did find upsetting however, is that this past weekend a close (yet relatively dumb as a fucking box of rocks) friend enjoyed celebrating her 24^th birthday in New Jersey. There was drinks, dancing, terrible outfits, and questionable guests, and despite all that fun, there I sat at home drinking for no reason other than it was “Saturday.” She went so far as to tell someone that she was offended because I didn’t attend her gathering.

Explaining that I never received a phone call inviting me, she quickly asserted that all invites were sent via facebook. Because mine is nonexistent, so then are my invitations to things like birthday binge-offs, funerals, weddings, and the inevitable apocalypse. She then decided it was her right to be upset with me for discontinuing my trivial networking life, and explained that everyone simply had to have a facebook. I promptly called her a racist and hung up the phone.

Remember kids, if you don’t keep up with the times, and do every stupid thing that everyone else is doing without questioning the overall uselessness of it, or the easiness of just sending out a mass text with an address to a bar, you’ll be the one stuck at home while everyone else is off paying for high priced drinks and bobbing to terrible music.

She called back obviously irate, at which point I informed her of an upcoming function that she’d be “invited too” but if she couldn’t figure out which medium I’d used to invite her, then she wouldn’t really be “invited.”

And so scrawling down the location to a gathering in September at my apartment, I promptly placed it into a bottle, and hurled it into the sea, which I’m pretty sure will get it to her house by next weekend.

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